we have brought forward our visit to gynae to today as i had been experience on and off stomach cramps and pains. we received a quite bad news today, we were not able to locate any heartbeat and baby seems to be not growing as well. i was told to do a blood test to test on my hormones level. being pregnant, i should have a certain high level for a kind of hormone. if i don't reach that state, then its not very optimistic. the test result will be out on wed and we can call up to check.
another visit was schedule next mon to scan again, by then there should be an outcome. we are not optimistic about it and i think we better prepare for the worse. i was given a week mc to rest at home.
i was quite surprised that i didn't cry at all at the clinic. its was after we left the clinic that i started crying. i'm really glad that darling is with me for all my visits. i don't know how i can handle this if i'm there alone. i can tell that he is very sad too and had to fight very hard to hold back his tears. he needs to be strong to be there for me. however, he did cry eventually when we were back home. it hurts me a lot to see him cry and this is the 2nd time i saw him crying. he said he feels very bad cos he can't do anything to help me. but darling, being there with me is all i need from you. i just need you to stand by me.
we will be brave and not lose hope till the end. we must fight this battle with baby and stand by him till the end. baby, you too can't give up. you had survive the tiring taiwan trip, you can make it this time too. 加油！我们一起努力。
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